Yes, the nostalgia for the first Plan B videos, the Eastern Exposure series, and Josh Kalis on Toy Machine is all really nice, but let’s be honest: The ‘90s sucked just as much as any other era. Big pants, small wheels, terrible tricks—it was actually a shitty time. Yes, you had your smooth, technical Mike Carrolls and balls-out John Cardiels, but for every one of them, there were dozens of goons who struggled through every single trick. The skate historians out there will obviously point to the Stereo videos, which shunned the technical for the stylish, but the reality is that plenty of skating at the time looked awful, and only 20 years later are dudes romanticizing it.

We’re as excited as anyone to hear who each successive Skater of the Year, as named by Thrashermagazine, will be. But we’ve often wondered why some of our favorite dudes, who should have been shoo-ins, didn’t get it. Like Guy Mariano in 2012. Or Dennis Busenitz in 2009. It’s tough to say, but politics probably play a part. And where there are politics, there’s likely money. So we’ll leave it at this: The coveted SOTY award may not be based on merit alone.

Skating is all about having fun, but you can tell when that fun is forced. Sometime around 2006, Stereo came out with a board series inspired by early ‘90s shapes, and you know who bought it? Nobody.You know why? Because boards with weird shapes don’t skate any better; they just make you look different. Before oddball grip jobs and square-tailed boards somehow became popular, things like speed and skill mattered. Today there are kids who put out parts full of no-comply shove-its. How did this happen? We’re not sure, but let us suggest a benchmark: If you can’t nollie flip and you’re thinking about setting up a weird-shaped deck, save yourself the trouble and get a longboard instead.

Unless you have a subscription that you’ve held since you were 14 or you’re about to take a five-hour flight, you’re not buying any of the print magazines. No one looks at those things unless they’re killing time at a skateshop, and even then, it’s only to see if a homie made it into the mag or to talk shit about everyone who did. And, like, what’s the point of media if it doesn’t let you like, comment, and share?

This one’s simple: Is James Cameron directing this picture? No? Then why are we waiting five years to watch dudes skateboard? Due to the internet and the overall level of skating reaching unthinkable heights, skate videos tend to take three to five years to complete. But do they really have to? Some of the best videos of all time took only a year or two—sometimes less—to finish. Given the talent level of kids today, full-length videos should be easier than ever to produce. By filming for years, you’re allowing a bunch of dudes to slack off at the best job they’ll ever have: riding a skateboard.

We want to set the record straight with a word skaters love to throw around: robot. “Oh, fuck that dude. He’s a total robot.” Do you not think that guy is good? You just complimented and hated on him at the same time. Whether you choose to admit it or not, the skaters we label robots—the Shane O’Neills, Nyjah Hustons, and PJ Ladds of the world—are actually the best. We write them off because we’re jealous of their perfect styles and enormous bags of tricks. So next time you want to use the R-word, just remember that you’re actually backing the guy you’re trying to shit on. And either way, he doesn’t care that you even exist, let alone have an opinion on his skating.

Clips from skateboarding’s newest spot Mecca used to excite us. China offered massive marble plazas, amazing new-age architecture, and relatively lax security. But now, for the same reasons, it does the exact opposite. As always, skateboarders travel to the same spots others have visited in the hopes doing something new. But let’s face it—you already know you’re going to see something that’s never been done by virtue of where it’s being filmed. And it’s not like the footage ever has the energy of something shot at, say, Love Park. Yawn.

Gone are the days of skateboarding being an activity that separated you from mainstream culture. When dudes in suits push their Penny boards to the office and aren’t made fun of, then what you’re doing no longer makes you “different” from anyone. There was a time when being a skateboarder meant you rejected the dominant culture; how you dressed, the music you listened to, even the way you looked at inanimate objects made you unique. Unfortunately for you, the world at large now does all these things the exact same way. Schools are teaching skateboarding P.E., for fuck’s sake! So does that mean jocks are cool now? Nope—they just happen to do what you thought you were cool for doing.

It should be said that skateboarders rarely control which photos grace the pages of skate magazines, and it is for this reason that many you see in each issue are not of actual makes. Sequences are even picked apart and pieced back together with frames from multiple attempts. The photographer’s job is to document a maneuver in the best way possible, so even if a skater wasn’t able to ride away during a shoot, the photo that tells the story the best is the one that gets run. Don’t believe everything you see, kids.

It started innocently enough, with Krooked producing the Zip Zinger, a board modeled after '70s decks or whatever. It's not like people hadn't ridden so-called cruisers before, with big, soft wheels and so on, but seemingly overnight, a setup designed for little other than rolling around was part of almost every company's catalog. And though there's nothing inherently wrong with riding a deck shaped like a guitar, a 40-ounce bottle, a pizza slice, or Marisa Tomei, let's be real: You can do everything you can on a cruiser and more on—wait for it—a regular board. And you won't be any less whimsical and free-spirited for it.

Mark Gonzales is one of the greatest skaters of all time. He has nothing left to prove. If you argue otherwise, you’re an idiot. Along with Natas Kaupas, he pioneered what street skating would become, handrails, switch, and all. But while his part in Video Days (1991) is obviously sacred, we don’t need to hold, say, his bizarre YouTube videos, or even his more recent footage, in the same esteem. Is this stuff all bad? Of course not. But it’s also not as uniformly amazing as the praise it receives would suggest. And sometimes we wonder what people would say about it if Mark Gonzales’ name weren’t attached to it. It's important to remember that he is a mere mortal.

The majority of professional skateboarders are not role models. There is a reason that many of these guys stay in the industry after they have retired from professional skating: They have no skill set and live horrible lifestyles. Yet we continue to worship these guys. Yeah, they’re fun fun to watch, but when you take a moment and realize that they’re actual human beings, you have to take pause. Here’s a tip: Never meet your favorite pro; you’ll only be let down.

Pat "Sinner" Pasquale might be a genius. After it was basically set in stone that he would never rise above flow with Baker, he partnered with Nick Trapasso and started Life Extention, and he turned himself pro. And he was utterly unapologetic about it. Then, last summer, he released a part that some swear was an exercise in trolling. It was heavy on the dubstep (three songs), slo-mo (manual tricks on curbs), and fashion statements (tank tops and headbands). Some loved it. Some hated it. But we all talked about it. And that's kind of the point, right?

At some point, every skater dreams of becoming pro. By late adolescence, though, most resign themselves to the reality that it’s not going to happen. Still, there are plenty of kids moving into adulthood as they hang onto the hope that they’ll one day be paid to skate. Why? If you’re one of these people, does the prospect of hanging out with dudes way younger than you, many of whom are complete scumbags, seem appealing? Whatever you think, if you’re not sponsored by the time you’re 20—and we’re being generous here—you should give up the dream, because it ain’t happenin’. And just so you know, starting a board company and turning yourself pro does not count. Seriously.

Parental support is good, but beyond that, any involvement from parents is bad. Look, we get it—you want to be there for your kid. This, however, is not little league, and you’re not the coach. Firstly, skateboarding is a creative outlet, so telling your kid how to do it is only going to make it a chore. Secondly, it provides an escape. Getting away from school, parents, and everything else is the best thing about skateboarding. Parental involvement could be the worst.

Alien Workshop—which dissolved earlier this year and may or may not come back—had an amazing 24-year run in the skateboarding industry. Its influence on our subculture was huge, and its aesthetic will never be duplicated. This is exactly why Alien should remain six feet under: A company with so much consistency and originality has a finite lifespan, especially in contemporary skateboarding. To bring Alien back could ruin a nearly perfect legacy. Despite all of the crying that took place after its death, it would without a doubt be worse to see this dead horse—which changed hands several times before it folded—continue to take a horrible beating. Just let it go, guys.

Steve Berra backside 180 kickflipped over a plane. Yes, there are Berrics detractors out there, but you cannot deny that Berra has one of the best backside flips of all time. It’s super quick and straight to catch, with zero pivot, and he takes it down giant sets. He shared a part in Habitat’sMosaic (2003) with Heath Kirchart for a reason.

Yes, there are exceptions—Gino, Keenan Milton (rest in peace—one of the best ever), PJ Ladd, Ryan Gallant—but it’s no secret that, when it comes to skill level, East Coast skaters are a few years behind Californians and, in some cases, Europeans. However, we East Coasters have always tended toward the simple things in skateboarding, preferring a proper kickflip on flat to the front blunt blizzard flip madness of today’s top pros. The truth is that we care about style because we will never be as good as our West Coast brethren. You may swear your bro’s backside tailslide on an ankle-high curb is way sicker than Torey Pudwill’s latest five-trick combo, but we both know you’re lying.

If you ask almost any skateboarder about his political stance, he’ll most likely tell you he’s liberal or that he doesn’t give a shit. The funny thing is that the skate community itself is by no means welcoming toward outsiders. Yeah, these days we’re outwardly more accepting of shit like people who wear different cuts of jeans than we do, but message board threads and YouTube comments tell the real story. But beyond that sort of minutiae, there has still yet to be a single openly gay male professional skateboarder, though one or two are rumored to be closeted. So are we open-minded? Maybe. But definitely not to the extent we’d like to think.

1. Most Skate Art Sucks