身为摄影师的Partik Wallner经常和队伍一起进行旅途，大家看到他的视频觉得这里真的太吸引人了，然而这背后的故事也只有摄影师滑手自己知道，那么除了美妙的旅程，还有什么回忆让人痛苦万分呢？一起来看背后的故事，Patrik Wallner五次最糟糕的旅途。
PATRIK WALLNER – TOP FIVE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE. English scroll down.
1- 我一直幻想一趟异域摩托公路之旅，迷人的棕榈树、夕阳、朋友，看着姑娘在阳光下竖理头发多么惬意。知道2012年一月底，我和Michael Mackrodt, Jerry Hsu, Javier Mendizabel, Keegan Sauder, Joey Pepper和Jonathan Mehring一起离开首都Hanoi，开始了一次两星期，形成超过2000KM的旅程。
毛毛雨一下变成了倾盆大雨并且下了几个小时，我们浑身上下都是湿的，冷风吹来颇为寒冷。Jerry摔伤，没有吃的，而且我们还迷路了，那时是越南新年，绝对是最痛苦的记忆，尤其是第二天早晨醒来还得把湿漉漉得裤子和鞋子重新穿起来。
2- 一天之内几件事都出岔子，那么这一天绝对是霉到爆的。3个陌生人试图在一定时间内追捕我们，比你想象的任何事都要可怕：我们在蒙古首都，如果我们不给他付每人5美元，他就要揍我们！
总算摆脱了上述困境，火车站里一个大妈竟然向我们扔石头。还有个喝醉了的蒙古大汉翻阳台跑到我们房间里想偷东西！幸好摄影师Anthony Claravall开了灯，他从阳台跳到了隔壁的房间然后跑了，欢迎来到蒙古！
事实上，我们是和9个Converse中国队员一起去得，但是始终不受当地人的欢迎，挺意外的，想想也应该，中国修的长城就是为了防止蒙古人进入...
3- 中国的火车上经常有卧铺、硬座，如果你想省钱，而且不怕站着，你还可以选择站票来省点钱。我们在北京的最后几天，即将去西安，搭上了从莫斯科开往香港的火车。
刚开始我们发现竟然要站13个小时才能到达，队伍中的一半人都选择了坐飞机或者再住北京几天，但是我和Laurence Keefe, Kirill Korobkov, Daniel Hochman决定去体会下到底这会是如何折磨人的旅途。
我都不敢再回忆，我们活生生在过道里弯曲着站立了13个小时，我和Daniel都感冒了，地上满是孩子拉的屎，我感觉自己就像一坨屎一样。“我们绝对不会再打站票了”
4- 即使是在生存模式下，今天你也不能想：“我在这里倒下了，马上倒下，也只能被百万印度人所忽略，没有人会知道的”。2013年早几个月，人类历史上最大的朝拜活动空巴梅拉开始，这个活动每12年举办一次。
在这个为期8星期的朝拜中，超过1300万教徒在恒河里洗澡，我，Mark Suicu, Sebo Walker, Nestor Judkins, Sean Malto, Jon Mehring也进去接受了洗礼。当然半数队员也因此感冒，我们痛苦不堪，那里的大喇叭24小时不停在念经祈祷。
因为这个节日每12年才举办一次，我们不得不在早晨4点被吵醒，正好去见识下这12年一遇的难得景象。为了看着无数教徒沐浴在恒河中，我们头脑晕晕地在街上走3、4个小时，回来的路上我感觉异常虚弱，就要晕过去了，不过我们生存的欲望还是很强，我再也不想去看这全球最大的人类聚会了。
5- 我曾经在印尼和斯里兰卡体会过几次绝对痛苦的公车经历，我告诉自己再也不要经历这些，后来在伊朗和阿塞拜疆的边境去Baku路上，我和Michael Mackrodt终于坐上了奔驰，我想这总会比公车好吧，结果我错了。
这可能并不是最痛苦的日子，不过绝对是最窝囊的旅途。我们的阿塞拜疆司机不会说英语，这也就算了，他还在路上随便让姑娘搭车，但是车费竟然是我们来付，这也就算了，她还让司机去她家好让他把孩子也带着。在楼下等了30分钟之后她终于带着10岁大得孩子现身，孩子戴着厚如瓶底得眼镜，穿着西装。这时我和Michael都快要气炸了，不过还好我们上了路。
过了几分钟我们发现自己身处赛场之中，这个阿塞拜疆司机把海岸公路当成了F1赛道，好几次开过了160公里／小时，我和那个女的跟她孩子挤在后排，她一直不停地在跟司机吹牛逼，足足两小时没有消停。
当我们前面的车撞到了一头牛，牛躺在地上时，那女的还在喋喋不休。我真希望她能闭嘴。高潮来了，她有光敏性癫痫，几分钟之后她发作了！她口吐白沫，司机立马停车给他吃了药，场面非常可怕，我可没想让她死掉，我只想让她闭嘴。于是，真的她闭嘴了一会儿，但是醒来之后又是喳喳一通。地上的牛、癫痫女乘客，真的太疯狂了，我可不经常看到Michael吓尿。我们到目的地之后总算总了口气。
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1 – Trying to imagine a motorcycle trip through one of the most exotic countries in the world, one would usually think of palm trees, lots of sun, friends, plenty of speed and a warm breeze brushing back one’s hair. None of which existed on a day towards the end of January 2012 when Michael Mackrodt, Jerry Hsu, Javier Mendizabel, Keegan Sauder, Joey Pepper and Jonathan Mehring left the capital city of Hanoi, embarking on a two-week trip that saw them travel more than 2,000 kilometers.
A very slight drizzle turned into heavy rain that lasted for hours, making everything wet and leading to misery when our bodies and hands were freezing from the cold wind. Not to mention getting lost, Jerry slamming, not finding food because it was Vietnamese New Year’s Day – it goes without saying that this day was a pretty miserable one. But waking up the next morning and putting back on my wet pants and shoes was probably even worse.
2 – When a couple of things go wrong in no more than 24 hours, it usually makes for a pretty shitty day. So when three non-related people tried to hurt us and hunt us down within said time span, it was worse than anything I could have imagined: This random day began in Mongolia’s capital, Ulaanbaatar, with a taxi driver wanting to beat us all up if we didn’t give him five dollars each.
Having managed to escape the situation, an older woman at the train station viciously started throwing rocks at us. And to top things off, a drunk Mongolian climbed up to the third floor of our hostel and broke the balcony windows, trying to steal things in our room, but when film maker Anthony Claravall turned on the lights, he jumped from one balcony to the next and took off. Welcome to Mongolia!
To be honest though, I was accompanied by nine Chinese dudes (Converse team), who are not really welcomed by the natives, which is hardly surprising: after all, they built that Great Wall to keep the Mongolians out…
3 – On most long-distance trains in China you can find cabins labeled as “sleeping class”, “sitting class”, and – a popular alternative for anyone trying to save some bucks, at least if you don’t mind standing on two feet – “standing class”. On a Trans-Siberian trip from Moscow to Hong Kong, we found ourselves almost towards the end in Beijing with only a couple days left until our next destination, Xi’an.
We were all pretty shocked when we heard that we were supposed to stand on that train for 13 hours. On the actual night of our departure, half the crew bailed out and took a plane or stayed longer in Beijing, but Laurence Keefe, Kirill Korobkov, Daniel Hochman and myself took it upon ourselves to see how shitty one would feel after this experience.
I can’t really describe it, but after 13 hours of standing with a couple hours of painful kneeling between the aisles (which was almost worse than standing), both Daniel and I caught the flu, babies shat all over the ground and my body felt like the biggest pile of shit ever. “Never again will I stand again,” or some such thing I told myself after that.
4 – You know it’s not your day when you are in survival mode thinking, “If I collapse right here, right now, I might just perish amongst a million Hindus and no one will ever know.” In early 2013, the world had its biggest gathering of human beings along the Ganges in India for the ‘Kumbh Mela’, which is held every 12 years.
During an eight-week period more than 130 million people pilgrimaged to bathe in the Ganges, amongst them Mark Suicu, Sebo Walker, Nestor Judkins, Sean Malto, Jon Mehring and myself. Of course once again half the crew caught the flu and were out under the most stressful circumstances, with loudspeakers blaring 24-hour prayers at maximum volume and a flooding tin shack falling apart.
Since this festival is on only every 12 years, we had no choice but to wake up at four in the morning to witness the finale of all the sadhus and gurus bathing. My head was spinning and we had to walk some three or four hours to get to the river and back; during the walk back I felt so weak I was contemplating just passing out amongst millions of people, but the desire to keep on living was stronger. Not planning to go see the biggest gathering of humans ever again.
5 – I have had a couple bus rides in Indonesia and Sri Lanka where I told myself I would never ever enter a vehicle again, but when traveling from the Iranian/Azerbaijani border to Baku in a Mercedes-Benz alongside Michael Mackrodt, I didn’t think anything could go wrong in this equation. Well, I was wrong.
This might not have been the worst day, but probably the most intense and annoying transit. Our Azerbaijani driver of course didn’t speak English and then he picked up this random lady, which was already a bit annoying since we had paid for the entire car. To make things even worse, she asked the driver to stop by her house so she could pick up her baby. After a good 30 minutes she showed up again with a ten-year-old boy who wore ridiculously thick glasses and a suit. At this point Michael and I were pretty pissed off, but we were also glad to finally hit the road.
Minutes later we realized that we were in for an intense ride, seeing how the driver turned the Azerbaijani coastal roads along the Caspian Sea into a Formula 1 racing track, with speeds up to 160 kilometers per hour at times. I was stuck in the back with the lady and the boy, while she was telling the driver stories in Azerbaijani, non-stop for over two hours. By non-stop I really mean non-stop, there was no silence.
Even when a car in front of us hit a cow and we saw this huge creature sliding down the street on its back, she still kept on talking. I was wishing she could just somehow shut up… and since she obviously had photosensitive epilepsy, a few minutes later she had a seizure: There was foam coming out of her mouth, and so the driver immediately stopped and gave her some Fanta.
It was scary, I didn’t wish for her to die, all I wanted was some quiet for a minute. She was shook up for a while, but of course soon she started talking again. So that cow sliding on its back, that lady with a seizure, that insane driving – I mean I don’t see Michael Mackrodt scared too often, but we both felt quite relieved when we arrived in Baku in one piece.
Dieser Beitrag von Patrik Wallner findet sich in unserer Jubiläumsausgabe, die du hier bestellen kannst.
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