如何成为“板店之友”

普通人第一次去滑板店可能会有失身的尴尬，如果你不知道滑板店是干什么的，去了会特别不自在，店里每个人似乎都等着在看你出丑，不过不要怕！下面Jenkem就给大家带来几点提示，让你成为正宗“板店之友”。
Going to your local skateshop for the first time is almost like losing your virginity, it’s pretty awkward and you don’t really know what you are doing. The guy behind the counter seems uninterested in anything you have to say and everyone else in the shop keeps looking at you funny. Never fear! Here are some tips to become a local shop homie in no time:

1，过去就是Chill

大家都知道真正的Homie从不买东西，都是去滑板店Chill的。把滑板店当成自家后院一样，躺在沙发上，叫几份外卖，玩玩手机，放松哥们！别人这样就无法分辨你是滑板店一员或是随意路过的过客。

2，假装在帮忙
如果你不知道滑板店是干什么的，帮忙也不太好帮，不过假装起来却是很容易，最好的方法就是随便问问哪个在旁边的店员“这个东西我应该放在哪里”。

3，要給家长留下“好”印象
当父母带着小王，或是小李，抑或是小赵来买滑板时，记住一定要把脏字挂在嘴边，说话要像一个店员，保持纯正“滑手风味”。

4，问老板要免费产品和折扣
如果你做成功了，一定要去问店员要折扣，在这之前也别忘了把折扣这词挂在嘴边，要时不时提起来，而且要委婉开头，比如“额...（提起）”

5，在柜台后面Chill
滑板店里最Chill的地方就是在柜台后面了，如果你不是在那里工作，也不好混进去。不过神器出现了！随便在网上找个滑板片，然后告诉他们说自己找到了一部特别牛逼的片子，于是店员就会“恳求”你让他们欣赏，成功！每个人都在看着视频，你已经成功了！

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1. Totally hang out – Everyone knows real homies don’t buy product, real homies are at the shop to chill. Treat the skate shop the same way as you treat your mom’s basement. Lie on their couch, order in chinese food, charge your phone, relax! This will really throw people off- they won’t be able to tell if you are part of “the fam” or just some random dude.
2. Pretend to help – It’s hard to help if you don’t really know what you are doing, but it’s really easy to pretend. The best way to do this is just to periodically pick up random shit and ask whoever is working, “uhh where should I put this?”
3. Impress parents – When parents come in looking to buy little Johnny his first skateboard, make sure drop the F bomb in every other sentence and talk about stuff like getting head. It’s your job to maintain that authentic “urban feel” in the shop.
4. Ask for free product & discounts – You know you’ve made it once you start to receive the elusive shop discount. Until then, don’t be afraid to remind (bug the fuck out of) the store clerk about how you deserve it for totally helping them out all the time, with uhhhh, stuff.
5. Hang behind the desk – In a skate shop, the holy grail of homie spots is behind the desk. But if you don’t work there, it’s nearly impossible to infiltrate. Thankfully people are stupid and there’s an easy trick to make it into the inner circle: Youtube. Mention this “dope video part” you found, and tell them how much they are missing out. Once they are practically begging you to show them, walk behind there, load it up, and as everyone is mesmerized by the screen, slyly perch up on the corner. You’re down for life yo!

Words: James Lee
Original Illustration: Michael Giurato
From: Jenkem